It was the fall of 2000 and I wasn’t really ready to jump back into dating nor was I anxious about it. Out of pure curiosity, I started looking at dating sites. Dating sites were still a relatively new thing on the internet here in the US, so it really was a curiosity thing. I joined a few sites (mostly free ones) and started writing to woman in my area that had profiles posted. I received absolutely nothing back from any of them.
After a couple of weeks of nothing, I decided to expand my horizons as there were a lot of Russian woman with profiles on the sites. I thought to myself,
“Here goes nothing” as I had nothing to lose.
Initially, I wrote to 6 or 7 women. I sent a generic email to all of them. Got a couple emails back within a week or so. I wrote back to them and received nothing in return. So, I moved on to round 2. This time, I was a little pickier about who I wrote to. I spent a few days looking at profiles and photos. I picked 3 women to write to that I thought I might get a response back from.
Well, the very next day I received a response from one of them. I replied to her and we started corresponding. Her name was Lena and she could speak, read and write English. A couple days later I received another email from another of the 3 women I picked. I also replied to her. She didn’t respond back to me again for almost a month. By that time, I was corresponding daily with Lena. Although, there was a time when I thought I had lost Lena. After about a week of corresponding, she all of a sudden stopped. Thought I had said something to offend her, but couldn’t figure out what. About 1 1/2 weeks later she replied and apologized. Her computer had crashed. I learned later that most Russian woman don’t have their own computers and that it is difficult for them correspond. They rely rather heavily on internet café’s if they have no computer and Russian dating agencies if they have poor English writing skills.
So Lena and I returned to daily correspondence. We began using ICQ to communicate shortly there after. In case you don’t know what ICQ is, it is a very versatile chat program and the first of its kind. Russians like it because at the time, it was the only chat program available in the Russian language.
After about a month of this I decided it was time to talk to this lovely lady. I made arrangements to call her and we talked. After that, I decided to plan a trip to Russia. I went for 3 weeks at the end of February 2001. I wired her money to get to Moscow, pay for a hotel for a couple days there and the train trip to her city of Yekaterinburg.
What was so unique about the whole experience was that I knew everything about her before I came to her. We knew so much about each other, I knew the trip would be worth it even if there was no “chemistry” between us.
I was married to Lena on Nov 10, 2001.
My wife and I each have our own blog and write about the same subjects but in our own opinions. It is interesting to compare our opinions – opinions of two people who were raised in different cultures and political systems.
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on May 14th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Did you do all this courting in English or in Russian?
on May 14th, 2009 at 5:24 am
Depends on what you mean. I went to Russia and fortunate for me she spoke English. Still don’t speak much Russian.
on Nov 19th, 2009 at 9:44 am
[...] No they are not mandatory, but might make your search a little easier, yet costlier, but safer. Am I advocating using an agency – no. If you’ve read my blog you’ll know I didn’t use an agency. But I would say there was a bit of luck involved with my search. You see, I really wasn’t looking for a Russian wife. [...]
on Aug 13th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
I’m currently involved with one dating agency, and I currently correspond to three women. I have been (and continue to be) careful in my correspondence, however, I am feeling a bit more comfortable with the experience.
I do agree that you need to do your homework, and understand that you are involved with a different culture. What may be commonplace to us in America, may be something very different, so being careful as to not frighten them is very important.
I suggest that you just view who writes to you, and then decide if it’s worth it to write back. These sites do charge, so with that in mind, you should choose wisely.
I’m working on making a trip within the next year, and to learn the language. Looking into the country, and it’s cultures, is also helping me prepare. Having an open mind, and the desire to understand, I believe will help me.
The knowledge that I gain will hopefully end with perfect results